The stages of grief have been well on display all over social media this week after the election of Donald Trump to the leader of the free world. I know I personally have gone through the five stages at least a few times, sometimes two or three at the same time, skipping a stage, repeating one, going back...
It's devastating to see so many of my family and friends and colleagues struggling to make sense of what has happened. We had a candidate- although as qualified as any in history to ascend to the presidency- who was a flawed candidate. Whose campaign made some mistakes, overlooked some key demographics, but still seemed primed for a win, if you believed- well, just about anyone.
In the other corner was candidate like no other in history, a daily flub, repeated, tireless baseless claims, another day another group of human beings insulted or demeaned- and yet, by the power of the Electoral College- the law of our land- miraculously emerged as the winner.
The Electoral College was started because the founders were highly protective of their new experiment and uncomfortable with their ability to disseminate information about candidates to far flung people outside of the population centers. They were also distrustful of the masses, and therefore the first electors were often wealthy land owners, those who had a close connection to those in government.
The bi-cameral legislature was as far as they were willing to go- keeping the more easily controllable numbers of the Senate, and pairing that with the proportional representation of the House. The idea of proportional representation is an excellent one, and works to this day- giving each legislative delegation power reflective of the size of their constituency.
Unfortunately, that idea isn't so easily transferable when you are talking about one vote per person. While in theory it's nice to give the appearance of giving the "little guy" more of a voice, the flip side is that it actually devalues the vote of those in the population centers.
The most fervent defense of the Electoral College usually comes from the right, because the population centers in this country tend to skew liberal. The Electoral College does a good job of keeping the left in check. What it tells me is that conservatives have done a poor job appealing to these voter-bases, and continue to do so, and leaning on the validity of an arcane system of electing a President seems to be the much easier path. So it's also no coincidence that since the Civil War, only three times has a President has lost the popular vote but gained the White House via the Electoral College, and all three times it has benefited the Republican candidate.
Now, I'm not in the camp in favor blowing of blowing it up- I'm not signing those petitions floating around to abolish the Electoral College immediately. I believe that major change should be incremental, democratic.
I guess the problem is that the change that's now being ushered in with the new administration feels neither incremental, nor democratic- but it's major. Ideologies that existed on the fringe are now front and center, and with such speed that our system of government doesn't seem deft enough to counter. And that's when people take to the streets.
I'm a proponent of peaceful protest. And I admire those out in front, making their voices heard. But we have an opportunity to rise above the dangerous noise that's coming from the supporters of the new administration. To say no to violence, and no to name-calling and hate speech.
A friend of mine brought up a point that had been on my mind- the use of the phrase: "Not my President" whether it be in hashtag or published or plaquard form. Because for me, it feels a lot like the rumblings we've heard for the past eight years. That despite this man winning two fair elections, and exemplifying grace under demands to prove his citizenship and other attacks from the people and even his colleagues in government - that this man didn't deserve or ever received from many- the slightest ounce of respect the the office of the President this county deserves. So, despite the fact that Donald Trump won this election by fear-stoking and hate-mongering, it hasn't been proven to me that he achieved the office outside of the laws of this democracy- arcane though they may be- and therefore should be afforded his title of President of the United States. I'm not asking anyone to love or defend him, but like it or not, like him or not- he is our President. All of us. And I get it- he's done nothing to garner the benefit of the doubt, quite the opposite- he's marginalized with his rhetoric so many, so unfairly. But we can't afford to see the office of leader of our land be demeaned at our own hand. Here's an opportunity to take the high road, that doesn't involve giving up principle.
I am taking my lead from the sitting President.
Now, who knows what he's saying when the cameras are off, in the confidence of colleagues- but outwardly he is displaying nothing but grace and deference to something that he knows is bigger than him. He's been called arrogant by so many throughout his term, but now it's his humility that is a shining example.
This is not a call to end the protest- never stop fighting for what is in your heart. This is a plea, that despite the frightening and emotional battle that is raging, that we be thoughtful with our actions. That we "go high" as Mrs. Obama has recently said. It's the only way to get through this. I know that I cannot marshall hate, the way I can love.
So keep up the fight, but definitely keep it UP. Show the world and our country what it is to be united in goodness, not in bitterness. To stand for something instead of just standing against something. I choose love. I choose light. I choose up.