And so it is I find myself once again at the monstrous Toys R Us in Times Square, tasked with finding a gift for a child I do not know. It's the age where our little one gets invited to birthday parties galore! Kids she goes to school with, that she knows from camp, from online chatrooms- okay not that, but it might as well be. They're strangers to me. It's different when it's your friends' kids- then the party is more for the parents anyway and everyone gets cake and goes home happy. You know what to get that kid.
But to buy a gift for kid you don't know- this isn't toys for tots where little Jimmy hasn't had a real gift since "the accident" - and he'll be pleased as punch and his parents will glow knowing that there truly is a Santa Claus this year! Nah- this is a kid who probably has way too much already (like my child) and whose parents maybe don't let him play with certain toys because of whatever reason, and only read him passages of Proust and let him listen to NPR on Saturday mornings as a treat!
So no pressure, is what I'm saying.
It's only my daughter's reputation as a party guest going forward that's at stake. Like, "Oh her- yeah she was the one who got me clothes for my last birthday! Ugh She's off the list!" Or the parents, "Ah yes, her, who brought little Jimmy those vile mutant turtle figurines last year, no e-vite for her!"
Yes. These are real scenarios I play in my head as I am wandering Toys R Us, noise-canceling headphones in, dodging tourists pretending to be chased by the giant T-Rex (okay, I've done it before... a few times). And you certainly don't want to fall into gender-stereotypes - "Oh I get it, little Jimmy is a boy, so you got him Captain America riding a motorcycle. Very original." But what can you do?
So I walk out of Toys R Us, sanity intact (somewhat), with Captain America bouncing along on his motorcycle in the bottom of the shopping bag. You and your parents don't like it, little Jimmy? I've attached the gift receipt. Oh and you're welcome. And there better be some some awesome cake.